POSTPARTUM PLANNING
Doula guide for expectant mothers and fathers
The postpartum period is unique and irreplaceable. As a new mom, you deserve to experience it the way you wish.
You and your family should be honored and nurtured!
But, what do you actually wish for? And what beautiful rituals and nurturing supports are there that you haven't thought of yet?
With this detailed Doula postpartum guide you can create clarity and find out what your dream postpartum looks like.
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THE BASICS
You might be able to manage it all on your own. But it would probably make it much more difficult for you and your child to arrive, get to know each other, bond and breastfeed.
Alternatively, it is much more valuable to ask yourself the following question: which beginning of this new life do I want for myself, for my child and for us as a family?
Because these answers will lead you to a blissful, peaceful and love-filled postpartum.
Pregnancy, birth and postpartum - they each embody a world of their own, fundamentally different in their energies. And yet all closely connected and part of the great journey.
Pregnancy, a time of change and growth. The time in which you grow into the woman who is ready for birth with every fiber of her body.
Birth, giving you the opportunity to embody the earthy Mother Goddess in you and with her strength, courage, curiosity and love find the way behind the veil. Into the magical world of the birthing, where space and time shift. And you, letting go of everything, find your threshold. The threshold where you say goodbye to your old and accept your new self.
And finally postpartum, the time of arrival after the sudden change. You and your baby are experiencing everything for the first time. You find yourselves in a place you've never been before. If you ask me, lots of skin-to-skin contact, cuddling days together in bed, rest and slowness in a protected safe nest, are the most important components for the postpartum.
In this atmosphere you can get to know and connect as a family, the milk can get flowing and the birth story can be processed. It is a magical and irreplaceable time in which you can receive as much practical support and emotional guidance as you need.
These three parts shape your life as a mama, your future life as a family, and most importantly, your child's life, on a very deep level. What the baby experiences in your womb, then during birth and in the first weeks (months and years), is the foundation for all that may come.
The mood of the pregnancy flows over into the birth, the spirit of the birth influences the themes of the postpartum and in this way, in turn, forms the earth on which your baby's life story grows.
I believe that postpartum is most effective when it is extensively honored and appropriately celebrated.
In every family, the needs are slightly different in this regard. However, I recommend paying attention to a held space where the new little family can fully immerse themselves in the here and now and connect. A space of calm, slowness and love.
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THE 4 STEPS OF POSTPARTUM PLANNING
We cannot control life. Some events are simply part of our life's journey and have their reason. But you can align the factors that are in your power with your wishes. This is how you create the best conditions for them to come true. In concrete terms, this means becoming aware of your truth and your life's desire.
What do you want, long- and short-term, for your child? What do you wish for yourself? What do you wish for all of you as a family? What do you wish for your life together? Answer these questions in a way that captures your essence. (If you haven't yet thought about the topic of your own truth and life's desire, I'd be happy to support you in that. Just let me know - birthwithearth@gmail.com).
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1. Dreaming
Start dreaming about the postpartum several months before birth. Write down everything that is important to you and feels good and warm in your heart.
What is important to you during this time?
Where are you?
Who is with you? When and for how long?
What is the mood in the room?
What does it smell like?
Do you taste something specific?
What sounds do you notice?
What else is important to you, even though you hesitate to admit it?
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Dream up your favorite variation on the following topics as well:
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Breastfeeding
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Placenta options (smoothies, capsules, lotus birth,...)
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Cloth diapers or disposable diapers? Elimination communication?
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Sleep arrangements (Co sleeping?)
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Sling and baby carrier
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Want to learn more about these topics and find out what works for you?
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2. Planning
Once you have dreamed extensively, take planning into your hands.
This step will help you to make your dreams come true.
What does it take to make you feel this way? Read the answers of the dream phase again carefully and think about what is still standing in your way in your current environment, or whether something is still missing.
Do you want to learn more about breastfeeding, sleeping, carrying, placenta options and diapers? Again, find out what it takes to make your vision a reality.
If your partner has a steady job:
What happens if they take a "vacation" for a few weeks? (Work? Substitute during this time?)
Think about what daily tasks will come up that might interfere with you and your partner in this desired magical togetherness.
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Food:
Do you want to pre-cook for 60 days while pregnant and freeze or can everything? Or do you desire fresh food that friends, family or a postpartum doula will cook for you daily?
Tidying up and cleaning:
Even just cleaning up the kitchen every day is quite a bit of work for a new family. Can you think of someone who would love to treat you to a tidy home, clean kitchen and freshly cleaned bathroom?
Laundry:
Are you planning to use cloth diapers? If so, the washing machine will fill up pretty quickly and there will be a lot of diaper folding to do. Again, it's very helpful to organize some assistance.
Kids:
Do you have older children? How and when they are part of your postpartum is up to you and your wishes.
Perhaps it would be helpful to have someone take them out to play, bring them to daycare or school?
Mail and bills:
Can someone support you and do the paperwork for a few weeks?
Maybe you have trouble asking for so much help. I can understand that. And I would encourage you to practice asking for help starting now, even before you are completely overwhelmed or drained. As a mom, self-care is essential, and often that means asking for help.
More tips for your postpartum planning:
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Go easy on your body, pay attention to its signals, and be good to yourself.
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Wait with ventures into the outside world rather longer than shorter, or about 6 - 8 weeks after the birth. If you still don't feel like it then, listen to yourself and wait.
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Think carefully about when to invite someone to visit you. What energy does this person bring? Do you feel completely relaxed in their presence? Do they understand the sacredness of this time and treat the space with respect? I advise you to be very mindful of your family space and if you are not completely comfortable about a visit, cancel or postpone.
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Consider the possibility of not inviting visitors for the first 2-3 weeks. I advise against passing the child around from person to person during those first few weeks.
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When considering who might support you in the postpartum, be sure to invite people who are willing to enter your space respectfully and are happy to just help you. Even if that means the only contact between you is a quick hello. People who start blabbing about their work problems and family stories, and are mainly there to hold the baby, should not be in the postpartum space.
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It is incredibly valuable when you, (mother, baby AND partner) can spend postpartum time together. By this I mean, the partner is off work for a few weeks and you are all at home. Postpartum is a very good opportunity for you to see each other, feel each other, get to know each other and bond as a family. This makes all future challenges much easier.
3. Doing
Now you know what you want and what can help you get there. Take action, and ask friends and family if they can support you. While you're at it, think about who might be best suited for what task, and how you feel about that person.
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4. Honoring and celebrating
Once you've arrived in postpartum land, it's time to honor and celebrate by forgetting all the preparations and just embracing the moment. Everything that is, is just right. Meet yourself with love and discover from moment to moment what life is gifting you.
Enjoy as much skin contact and milk moments with your baby as possible, lie in bed for days, sleep whenever you are tired, imagine how everything in your body finds its old place again, nourish your body with warming food, drink lots of warm tea and bathe in your maternal hormones. All this gets the milk flowing and nourishes the connection between you.
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Ready to get started?